DCIS ... spelled C A N C E R.

I find that we tend to not lift up the value of life, until we find out it is at risk.

We start to tell the ones we love that we actually do love them, even as awkward as the circumstances may be, and start doing a count of the dreams we have yet to fulfill. For some we do an account of the moments we let pass, opportunities we watched slide by, and think of the goals that we once had, that we know are no longer attainable. I find that God has an interesting theme to times like these, that He uses for His great purpose. Whether a loved one gets sick, or a brother dies out in the field, or an unexpected accident occurs, no matter what the circumstance, God will use this time to bring families closer together, and reveal himself to us more. Well, unless we just tend to notice Him more, or ask for him more during hard times, which doesn't sound so outlandish, right? At any rate, I feel it's God's way of showing that even the "Worst" moments are bittersweet, and some are even much better than we think. Moments shrouded with veils, striking our hearts with strong emotion, when in actuality, they're blessings in disguise.

My mother has just been diagnosed with Ductal Carcinoma In Situ. What I do know is that it is cancer of the breast, and that my mother feels like she's dying. You'd be surprised how much your tear ducts can hold at one time, just ask my mom, and she'll tell you ... better yet don't but trust that it's much more than you think. When I found out there was even a chance that she may have cancer I broke down, sobbing on my knees in the middle of my street. I was told unexpectedly over the phone, and it was in that moment that everything came into my mind at once. Past, Present, Future ... Life, Love, Death ... Chance, Regret, Hope ... Confusion, Hate, Mercy. I found myself not caring about my composure, or who was looking, but most of all, I found myself crying out to God. I don't know if I've ever had a more concentrated emotional prayer, than in this moment. I praised God for his sovereignty, and his unexcapable provision, and then I begged Him for His mercy upon my mother, and prayed for MY perfect outcome. Then I stopped, took a breath, and prayed for strength for my mother, and for me to be there for my family, finally asking that God's will be done, and that He prepare our hearts for what ever the outcome. I'm happy to say that He did, and though I wanted the perfect outcome in my eyes, I knew that there was purpose behind whatever He needed to make happen, and I needed to trust Him regardless.

The moment I found out, I had an emotional moment, but nothing I couldn't handle. I found myself at a bit of peace, knowing that I had already given it up to God, in trust, and knew that if this was His plan, that it wouldn't change His provision, care, and Love for us. I had the chance to be a strong light for both my mom and my brother especially, and for that I thank God so much for bringing my family closer during this difficult time, and bringing us closer still as the days pass. Her consultation is this week, the surgery before the end of the month, and the follow-up soon after, to find out if there are any traces left behind.

Please pray. If at all possible take a small moment for us, especially to lift up my mom. God is good, and I mean it when I say all the time, and my prayer is that you won't have to go through a time like this to discover the truth in a Loving heavenly Father whose plan is greater and better than our own. All it takes is an opportunity for you to open up the gates for the Holy Spirit to interpret your prayers unto God, and then you get to see God work. Prayers don't get answered if you don't ask, and I can speak for myself when I tell you that mine have been, even in the midst of this difficult time. Pray that God continues to build this time for each of us as a testimony of his goodness, grace, mercy, and love. Thank you, and thank you for listening. I love you as my family, and families keep each other in the loop, so you'll be hearing from me soon. I pray God blesses you in your coming days.

Peace,
jiFi